Massive amounts of snot will wreck your fashion sense

Yes, I'm sorry to admit it, but all that snot is never a good thing, especially when you combine it with all of that hair. You can look at me like that all you want to. It's just not a good combo.

You see... when you have all that snot... it makes a lovely cement to stick your hair to your cheeks. This calls for drastic action.

Yes. I am aware of how it looks. You're cute enough to pull it off. Just go with it.

Don't look at me like that! It's not my fault! Okay maybe a little. I did pass on the massive snot genes to you. Your dad did, too. Did you see the size of his nose? And you can blame your brothers' coughing on you for the cold. That was all them.

You can make this work. You have the power of cute on your side. No one else could pull off a 'do like this. Remember the primary objective. Hair crusted to your cheeks is not a good look for anyone. Insane pigtails? If your brother can rock a mohawk, you can do this. Just dig deep.

It's a tough job, but you make pigtails look easy. Even if they're sloppily done by your wack-job, sleep deprived, decongestivated mother.

See? The added sheen of snot on your cheek just adds to it.