I've decided to start replying to comments in the comments. Starting with the Simpsons post. So it will be easier to keep track of all that. So if you comment, I may comment back to you and we can have a little conversation through the marvel of modern technology. Shazam!
On teaching Rowan to knit... I cast on and knit a couple of rows. Then he sat right beside me and watched while I knit - with very big and slow motions - through a row. Stick it through, wrap around, bring it back, take it off. We are striving for method and not much else at this point. Tension is non-existant - the tail of the yarn just hangs there until he grabs it to bring it round. He is wrapping with this left hand - on his way to continental knitting some day in the distant future.
Which brings me to my moment.
You know we all have these moments from time to time, when everything just feels more real and solid than usual. When everything is crystal clear. I got to have one of those last Thursday.
I was driving in the car, on my way to pick John up from work, boys in the back seat, a Dave Matthews CD (one of the shows that John plugged into the soundboard to get way back when) playing, and the windows down even though it was hot because I simply couldn't bear to be shut in the car. Sun on my arms, hot breeze, good music, laughing kids.
I was filled with the feeling of good. Of how much I love my kids and they love me, and we were on our way to get my husband/their daddy, and it was so good. Everything. So the house is not great and John is still looking for a job. So what?
I thought of the me from high school so long ago. The girl who was really hopeful that "something good" was going to happen if I just waited long enough. How happy that girl would be to see where I've landed.
Something good did happen, and I've got it every day.
So what if I'm not skinny and the boys fight and the laundry is never done and I have to come up with something to feed all these people every day. So what?
There's really no way to get that feeling down. Words just don't tell you the power of feeling all that happiness swelling inside me and making me smile and laugh and turn the music up a little louder. But trust me. It was awesome.
This is good. This is really, really good.